


Draw Me Your Heart

by maxiemoo01



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Hospitals, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Pastel Dan and Punk Phil, Soulmates, Suicide Attempt, Writing on Skin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-08 12:12:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13458012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maxiemoo01/pseuds/maxiemoo01
Summary: Soulmate au where whatever you draw/write on your arm appears on your soulmates arm.Dan's a pastel boy who has a love for flowers, Phil's a punk who could care less about anything but the bouquet of flowers that appears on his arm every night.





	Draw Me Your Heart

**Author's Note:**

> this was my fic for phantom secret valentines!! I hope that my valentine enjoys it and I hope anyone else who reads it does as well!
> 
> Happy valentines day!!

Dan liked flowers, that was no secret.

He loved wearing them, on his sleeves, in his hair, anywhere he could. 

Dan also loved drawing them, on paper and his arms. 

Of course he knew his soulmate could see the ones on his arms, often times he tried to make them extra beautiful for them, but drawing flowers on his arms had a double meaning.

One Dan was too scared to tell anyone about.

* * *

Phil liked music, it was one of his biggest passions. 

He loved everything to do with it, the mixing, the recording, the instruments, all of it. 

Phil also liked the flowers that often appered on his arms.

He often liked to sit when he felt the familiar sting and just watch the flowers appear, watch them slowly be drawn to life. It was quite therapeutic. 

Phil told no one about his love for the flowers, too scared of the embarrassment that would follow.

* * *

Dans nails dug uncomfortably into his jeans, he didn't like the way they felt against his nails but if he tightened his hands into fists he would make himself bleed.

Dans parents weren't the greatest, they tried, they really did, and Dan still loved them despite that. 

But they weren't ready to be parents when he was born, Dan had learned this very early on in life. 

Dans eyes stayed staring down at the food in front of him before he gently set his fork down. "Mom?" He said, interrupting his parents fight about spendings. 

"Yes dear?" She asked, sending a glare to his father. 

"May I be excused? I'm not very hungry, I'll pack this away and take it for lunch so it doesn't go to waste..." Dan's mom tilted her head, looking at him slightly concerned before nodding. 

"Go ahead sweetie." Dan nodded, grabbing his plate and heading off to the kitchen as the arguing continued. 

He pressed his back to the counter, taking a deep breath, he hated the fights, they never stopped fighting and it was awful. 

Dan sighed a bit, turning around and packing his dinner into some Tupperware, putting it in the fridge before he rushed passed the table again and up the stairs to his room. 

* * *

Phil hissed slightly as the stinging began, he dropped his pen, instantly lifting his arm to watch the lines slowly appear on his arm.

Phil smiled softly, tracing them lightly with his finger.

Phil always wondered about his soulmate, they drew such beautiful flowers but only at night, never during the day.

Were they in a different time zone then his? He really hoped not, that would mean he would have to wait until after highschool to find his soulmate, and he honestly didn't want to wait much longer. 

 Phil watched as his soulmate carefully, colored in the flower, he wished he could give his soulmate something as beautiful as they give him everyday, but he wasn't the greatest at drawing, so instead he just watched every night as a bouquet of flowers slowly made its way onto his arms.

* * *

it was four am, Dan was laying on his back, just looking at the ceiling. 

Something was off, and he couldn't put his finger on it, but there were voices going off in his head, words he couldn't grasp onto.

He needed to get out, he decided. 

He pushed himself up, and went to his closest, pulling out a rainbow hoodie and a pair of ripped white jeans.

He quietly dressed himself, gently putting a headband with some roses on it, then leaving.

Dan wasn't sure where he was going, but he just needed a break, he needed some fresh air and a walk.

Soon he came across a coffee shop that was open, he smiled a bit and slowly stepped inside, immediately being greeted with warmth and the cozy feeling only coffee shops could bring. He looked around, noticing no one else in the store, so he walked over to the counter.

The cashier was a guy who looked to be in his mid twenties and like he just wanted to go home.

Dan gave him a small smile as he looked over the menu. "Can I get a small chai latte?" He asked, looking down at the counter. 

"That'll be 3.50 sir." Dan nodded, quickly scrambling to get his wallet from his bag, dropping a dollar into the tip jar before shuffling to sit in a chair by the window of the store.

The barista brought him his mug and he gave the man a small smile, sipping lightly at it as he looked out the window, it was peaceful, nice, and quite cozy.

He didn't even realize when someone else had come in until a boy was slipping into the seat across from him. "Your name is Dan right?" A deep voice asked, causing Dan to look up. 

Phil Lester, was sat in front of him, leather jacket and all. 

"Um.." He looked down at his latte before looking back up. "Yeah, that's me." 

Phil was the punk of the school, everyone knew that, he had lip piercings and dyed hair, he acted like school didn't matter, he was probably the most popular person there though.

"I've seen you around school, I've just never stopped to say hi, I didn't know you liked this place?" Dan blushed, looking down. 

"I've actually never been here before, I just couldn't sleep so I decided to walk and came across it."

"Really? That's how I found it too, I stop by every morning before school now." Phil smiled, and Dan couldn't stop looking at his piercings. 

"Yeah." Dan looked out the window, maybe it was because he was tired, but he couldn't help but let himself speak. "Sometimes I just need to get away, sometimes I wish I could just shut my brain off. Times like those I just kind of leave, I don't really tell anyone, my mum hates it, my little brother always thinks I'm never coming back but my dad could give less of a shit I guess." He turned back to Phil, eyes wide. "Shit, sorry I... I didn't mean to just drop my life sorry on you."

Phil shook his head. "No its okay, I understand what you mean. Sometimes life is just, too much you know? Like, sometimes just breathing hurts yeah? But there's something beautiful about that too." Dan nodded softly. "Anyway, we should get going, its almost time for school you know." Dan pulled his phone out, checking the time. 

"Shit." He mattered, grabbing his bag quickly and rushing out of the shop.

* * *

Phil thought about Dan all day, how peaceful he looked while he was just staring out the window, how his hair fell gently over his face, how beautiful the black roses in his hair looked.

Phil was having trouble focusing in class most of the day because of it.

Dan was just so perfect, but Phil knew he shouldn't be thinking that. 

He didn't know his soulmate, and of course it didnt hurt anyone to fool around with someone who wasn't their soulmate, but it still wasn't a good idea.

Phil laid back in his bed that night, staring up at the ceiling, maybe he was attaching himself to Dan because he wanted his soulmate, he was impatient and just needed to find them.

His eyes cast down to his arms as flowers began to make themselves known, he smiled.

His soulmate was out there, he had to remember that. 

* * *

Dan stared down at the flowers he had drawn, there was six of them, blue and black roses covering the forming bruises on his arms.

Dan ran his finger gently over the lines, sighing softly as he thought about his day.

It had started off nice, meeting Phil in that coffee shop, but it had ended horribly, while he left school he was grabbed by one of the older kids, had his arm bruised from how hard they had gripped him, and come home to listen to his parents yelling at each other.

 Everything was becoming too much again, his head was screaming and he wasn't sure what else to do, drawing wasn't helping, not this time.

Dan looked around his room for a moment, his shitty keyboard from when he was twelve rested against the wall by his bed, schoolwork was scattered across his bed, his walls were covered in his shitty drawings of flowers and people, and right under those drawings sat his dresser, eacto knife sat on top of it.

In that moment Dan made a decision, he looked back to his arm, the flowers covering his bruises, and grabbed his marker.

'I'm sorry' He scribbled quickly before he pushed away from his desk, grabbing the knife and heading to the bathroom.

* * *

Phil looked down at the words scribbled on his wrist, not his forearm where the flowers usually were.

He stood from his bed, rubbing his eyes as he walked over to his desk. 

'why?' He wrote, frowning as he got no response. 'If its because of the flowers, I love them, dont be sorry.'

Phil looked down at the words, wanting a response of some kind, but he received none, he sighed, slowly moving back to bed and crawling into it, maybe he would wake up with one.

* * *

The next morning Phil still had no response, so he went on with his day, hoping maybe he would receive one later in the day.

In english he looked around for Dan, after speaking with him the day before he really wanted to talk to him more, he was really nice, and Phil thought they could be friends, but he wasn't there, so Phil sighed and sunk into his seat, yet another person ditching on him, great.

Phil glanced down at his arm, tracing the flowers quietly, he had kept his jacket off today in hopes of catching his soulmates reply.

When the teacher walked in with a solemn look on his face Phil looked up at him, confused and worried.

"Alright everyone settle down, sit in your seats, I have some bad news." He announced, and Phil's heart sunk, glancing over to Dan's empty chair, surely not.

Once the class settled into their seats and quieted down the teacher spoke. "I'm sorry to announce but your classmate Dan Howell was hospitalized last night, according to his family it was a suicide attempt." Phil's eyes widened, the teacher kept talking but all Phil could do was think about the words on his arm, the two words written in the dead of the night.

"Serves him right, fucking fag." Phil heard someone mutter, and that's when his hands slammed onto his desk and he pushed himself up. 

"Shut the fuck up!" He shouted, glaring at the boy. "Shut up! This is awful and you have no fucking right to talk about him like that!" He stepped closer to the boy. "So shut your fucking mouth." Phil turned, grabbing his bag and rushing out of the room, ignoring the protests of the teacher.

* * *

"No ma'am please! Listen to me."

"I'm sorry sir, only family and soulmates are allowed into the ICU."

"But you have to listen to me! I am his soulmate! If you look at his right arm, just, look." Phil lifted his arm to the lady. "Look at his arm and I guarantee you its the same as mine." The lady rolled her eyes. 

"Alright kid, I'll humor you, I'll look at his arm and when it doesn't match you'll leave right?" Phil nodded.

"I'm sure it matches but yeah, I'll leave if it doesn't." The lady pushed her chair away from the desk and headed down the hall as Phil slumped against the desk.

He hoped it matched, he swore it had to. His head lifted as the nurse returned, sighing as she sat down in her chair again. "The room is 275, congrats." She said softly to him.

Phil nodded, quickly picking his bag up from beside his feet and rushing to find the room with that number.

He took a deep breath, slowing down in front of the door, his family was probably in there, Dan might not even be conscious, this all seemed like such a bad decision now, but he took a deep breath, and gently knocked on the door.

A younger lady opened the door, and gave Phil a small smile. "Hi sweetie." She said. "Dans asleep, please, come in though." Phil smiled softly, stepping into the room, not missing the way Dans mom glanced at his arm.

"The nurse told us you were out there. She said you had been begging her to let you in." Phil looked down, blushing a bit. 

"Yes, I had." He gently rubbed his arm. "We, go to school together, I'd only talked to him once but then the teacher announced what happened and I just, I came as fast as I could." Phil's eyes went to Dan, he was asleep, head turned away from him, but he could see his curls as they fell over his face, he tried not to pay too much attention to the stitches on his arm though, and slowly walked over to him. 

"You can take a seat honey." His mom said. "I was sitting there next to him but you can have that seat." Phil nodded, giving her a smile as he sat down, gently taking Dans hand in his and looking down at it, trying to keep himself from breaking down.

This was all so much, but he was happy he had found him.

* * *

"I'm gonna go get some coffee sweetie." Dan's mom said about an hour later, patting Phil on the shoulder. "we'll be back in a minute." She said, shaking Dan's father awake and forcing him to come with her.

Phil sighed, looking down at Dan and finally letting a tear slip from his eyes.

 He couldn't believe Dan had been hurting this much, he wished he would've found him sooner, he wished he could've stopped this.

Phil's thoughts were cut short when he heard rustling and lifted his head, looking up to see Dan slowly open his eyes, then squeeze them shut before opening them once again. 

"Whats going on?" He asked quietly, looking over at Phil with a confused expression. "Phil?"

"Hey." Phil said softly, giving him a small smile. "Lay back, relax, you're okay." Phil gently squeezed his hand. "You're safe, you're in the hospital."

Phil sighed a bit, letting himself breath a bit before speaking. "Are you alright?" He asked softly. "Are you hurting anywhere?" Dan shook his head. 

"No just... Numb..." He looked down at his arms. "Why... Why are you here?" Dan looked back up to Phil. "I didn't think anyone cared, especially not someone like you." 

Phil sighed, gently squeezing Dan's hand. "Dan..." Phil gently lifted his arm, showing him the drawings on it. "I've watched you draw flowers every night for two years, I've cheerished them, I've obsessed over how beautiful they are, they're so beautiful and I love seeing them so much, I'm sorry I was never able to give you anything back, and I'm sorry I wasn't here to help you when you were hurting." Dan smiled softly, gently squeezing Phil's hand back. 

"Its okay... You're here now, that's all that matters." 

* * *

"Hows it going?" Dan asked, poking his head around the corner of the room, holding a to go cup in both hands.

"Hey!" Phil smiled at him from where he was sat, he looked down at his arm that was currently resting on a table, a tattoo artist working on adding beautiful rainbow flowers to his arm. "Its going good. I think." Phil chuckled lightly. 

"Good." Dan pulled a chair up to sit next to where Phil was sitting up, passing him one of the cups. "I figured I'd being you some since I went and got myself some."

"Thank you." Phil said, greatfully taking the cup with his left hand and sipping at it. 

Him and Dan chatted a bit before the girl who had been hunched over Phil's arm spoke. "And we're done." She said, letting Phil lift his arm up and look at the array of beautiful flowers. 

"Its amazing, thank you so much." Phil smiled. 

"No problem, I hope you enjoy it." Phil nodded, hopping off the chair gently before taking Dan's hand and looking down, a vibrant array of rainbow roses, next to a dark arrary of blue and black roses. 

"Do you think it's cheesy we got matching tattoos?" Phil asked as they stepped out of the building. 

"I don't really care if its cheesy, I love it anyway."

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: heartsponge


End file.
